ハロー！ バーバラのブログ

Your child, Barbara^^

謝謝祢藉Lily和黃姐祝福我們…

晚安，你的孩子上

Writing this, our hall is organizing the Orientation Camp, I come up to my room and take a break then having the dinner, suddenly I found I have long time never been writing anything in the blog, many times I wished to but always was disturbed by other things....

Many things have happened within these few months, it likes ages is being passed…

One thing I really want to say is about the Korean Trip (訪韓盛會 2008) my church members went to…frankly, I really want to join together with them, but I couldn’t squeeze time during the summer period due to my work, my heart felt sad and being left out because I couldn’t follow the same pace as my brothers and sisters, I could see their “fire” coming back and their sharing really has encouraged my spirits so much. But I have felt so touch by what they said about my cell group leader, Samantha, was doing in the prayer mountain, one midnight Siu Yin and her climbed up to the mountain, God was so amazed and touched their heart and they started to cry for each of us in our group for a long time, they prayed for us we should be touched by the true love from our heavenly father individually, and they stayed in the mountain for the whole night praying. I was so touched by what Sam was doing, in fact at that time I didn’t know what they did in Korea, but when the time they were out of Hong Kong, I felt the spiritually support and strength as I was going through a very difficult time during that period at work, I know, God listened to their prayers and I got the support. The existence of God was so strong….

Samantha, I don’t know how to express my thanks to you, but one thing I know why I haven’t been falling down since I have a good spiritual leader who is willing to spend time and pray for me consistently. I really love you so much not merely for what you did, but your love to us. You are always my leader in my heart^^

你們學基督的、師傅雖有一萬、為父的卻是不多 (林前 4:15)

因他使我們和睦、將兩下合而為一、拆毀了中間隔斷的牆，而且以自己的身體、廢掉冤仇、就是那記在律法上的規條，為要將兩下、藉著自己造成一個新人、如此便成就了和睦，既在十字架上滅了冤仇、便藉這十字架、使兩下歸為一體、與　 神和好了．並且來傳和平的福音給你們遠處的人、也給那近處的人。因為我們兩下藉著他被一個聖靈所感、得以進到父面前。這樣、你們不再作外人、和客旅、 是與聖徒同國、是神家裡的人了。(弗2:14-19)

In the past few holidays I commuted by MTR between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon Tong a lot due to the choir rehearsals of the Global Day of Prayer. When I was waiting for the train, my eyes were attracted frequently by a poster hung on the subway tunnel of a competition for teenagers who are interested to become members to visit the American Space Camp (小太空人計劃). I think this is a meaningful scheme, if I have chance I also love to visit the space shuttle and station, but this poster made me think further is not merely going to the space but about “dream.”

As a science fiction lover (in the past) and a person who loves watching sky and stars, I always dream of one day after back my heavenly home, I will embrace God’s hand sitting together with Him on one planet, looking at the stars and the milky universe created by Him, then He will explain me how he has created such beautiful sky by his hands for people, and all of us will be amazed. Sky always has special meaning to me, it represents my future dream with God. That’s why every time I saw this poster it made me think of this dream and also, my other dream on the earth right now. Everyone has dream and I also have my own one.

But God was talking to me through one slogan of this poster, He said: “My dream is achieved by you 我的夢想 由你實現.” My heart was so touch, so touch when I suddenly heard His words. After coming back home, I sat down and waiting upon him, I told him, God you know all the things and you know who I am, you know there is one thing for me in my heart is so difficult to give up, is my own dream, I still have my own thinking on what I want to be and what I really wish to get in the future, I know it may or may not be in contradiction with your plan in my life, but it is the part I still can’t totally humbly submitted under your will. But you further explain me your heart: “I also have my own dream but I want you to achieve and articulate it out.” I crazily cried, cried, cried, cried and cried…… Oh God, if this is the most difficult part for me, then you already have done it for me and step further, how come you can give your precious dream and ask me (human being) to achieve it but not by yourself? I suddenly understand a truth that if someone entrust his dream to you, it is the most sincere invitation and action, if not the love for us, who dare or willing to give the dream to someone?

If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him. (1 Corinthians 13:7)

My prayer: God, you have already given up yourself for our sake, and if, if my dream is the same as you, it will not be again too difficult for me to give up my “self dream,” I know how much you want me to be part of your dream and my dream is all about you, this is a love invitation and help me to keep it in my life.

http://www.cityrenewal.com.hk/English/GDOP2008.html

My prayer: Oh, father I should confess to you I was still working for myself, please forgive me, please reveal your will in my life, I decide to give myself up and follow Jesus, I don’t want to see when the time you come back, I feel sad that I wasted all my life and living for myself but not you. Please grant me grace so that I can follow you everyday.

My Prayer: My Lord, thank you for giving us new life by dying on the cross and have taken up all our weakness and burden from sins, I hope my life is linked with you everyday and be more like you day by day, and please also give this new HOPE and new LIFE to my family and my friends so that they can all can have real joy and peace in you!!!

I have been pondering a lot this week if your will is to place me living in Egypt and may stay here long, what is the proper attitude and how to live better everyday are the two directions I should have to consider! I know I will not be the same as my brothers and sisters forcing on your work in Tuen Mun’s and Tin Shui Wai’s communities, but how can I adjust myself and not feel detached from them?

Paul, the great Apostle in the first century is the one I can think of, he was a Rabbi amongst Jews but his vision was preaching the gospels in foreign countries, I guess he also faced the same as me when he was going out and left his home. How could he adjust himself living around in different places? Before I never thought of it, I just feel if God has given us vision, we can take it easily and now I know there is something inside I have to learn…

Of course the whole world is belonged to you and no matter where I go, you are with me and I never worry about it, then how should I live in a proper way when my vision is in Egypt?

I have decided:

1. ACCEPT it completely, I am different from my church members but I am not detached, they may don’t understand why I don’t show up in many meetings and activities, but I am doing the will of God, he has his plan and he know how to guide me, I should TOTALLY put my TRUST in him.

2. ENJOY my life in Egypt, I think I love all my friends and colleagues here, this is the most wonderful part for me to do!!! I have made lot of Egyptian friends and really love them so much!!!!

3. SPEAK the Egyptian language. Your will I have known a long time before is reading “E” Bible and prepare myself communicating with different kind of people around the world, and also prepare to learn different languages.

4. LOYAL to what you have entrusted to me. Work hard and study hard. Equip myself to do all the good will!! Thank you for all the materials and learning from others.

5. PRAY for the Egyptians, I know above all, you want me to pray for them so salvation will come to them and their families without delay. Help any people that I can do.

My prayer: Not my will but your will be fulfilled in my life. Lord, your love has never changed and I know nothing about myself, please guide me and direct my way as I put my trust in you and believe in you only.

These two weeks I have had several long discussions with my church members about the cutting off part of my serving in my church, I found I have been occupied by too much works and get too little time to take rest. Sometimes from the bottom of my heart, I felt angry (I never told this to the others!) and got tried of the training classes on Sunday, it meant neither I don’t like it nor I think not worthy to take part in, simply I feel exhausted and need rest.  Thus, Lai suggests me I should make up my mind fast and CUT!  Frankly I still haven’t drawn the final decision yet; the only things I am doing is by observation and pondering everyday. Perhaps why I write it down now is part of process I want to figure out the picture in my heart…..hahaha

I know I am not just serving one church but His Kingdom, after I become a Christian I always believe church itself should has no wall boundary, the same as Pastor Daniel Wu said: “Everyone outside (non-Christian) is the lost sheep the Christ is seeking and loving, and He wants us to bring them back to His Love and Kingdom, they are the One belonging to the “other sheep pen” (99 sheep means us!  "I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd (John 10: 16)" ) and God has already ordered us to go and preach the gospel to them.  Thanks God by His grace he has given me this vision and has set my out-going personality enjoying to live with people from different cultures and backgrounds!  I know from my heart everything I have been doing is for the preparation for His coming and during this process my SHAPE will be developed. SHAPE stands for S=Spiritual Gifts (屬靈恩賜), H= Heart (心/負擔), Abilities (能力), Personality (個性), Experience (經驗), all is copied from the famous book of Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life”, the things now I am pondering is: What is my right time to do the right thing?

My personal growing plan this year is: Studying Bible seriously and use the Scriptures in my Prayer, as I am also an intercessor. I have set it as: Year of learning, I prefer thought memorizing the words and pondering it everyday to develop a stronger relationship with God. I come to this decision not by myself but I waited upon God long and seeking for His Will previously. He has given me some instructions before 2008, “Transform through my words” and he will anoint me by upgrading the leadership with authority when I am serving the others.

I have three major serving: 1) Bible class teaching, 2) Intercessor, 3) Internship, and my preference is also written accordingly. I don’t know why I really love reading Bible and every time I read the words, I feel God’s power is burning in my heart, I know that is the work done by my inside lovely Holy Spirit^^! Secondly is praying, that is a kind of extension of the love from God to the others, I also love to see people get help and are transforming better and better in their lives after God’s intervention. Thirdly, internship is the one I am not quite familiar with partly because I was chosen to become the group leader of the Alpha course in Sept 2007 and I haven’t had cell group’s life for more than 5 months after the restructuring of cell groups in my church. I got no idea and data from my group's brothers and sisters. Frankly I love my cell group members and love to see them growing in the love of God, but just sometimes I feel too tried and don’t have time to meet them. Furthermore, distance is another crucial problem (Tuen Mun and Kowloon Tong!). However, I have another serious consideration, if I quit, my leader Sam with be over-loaded! So, the real situation is even I want to quit but seems no good to do so. And love is a kinda of action rather than just reading or merely closes my door to pray, I also love to get into the people and share with them.

I asked God twice what is His will and what does He think of: Do you know what, He gave me first a very humorous answer, he showed me a picture when the time I was walking out from a New York station and heading to the Statue of Liberty for sightseeing, then I know his meaning right away! He is so sincere and leaves me to choose, He shows himself to me that he is a loving God and allows freedom and the right to choose especially for His beloved children. However, now I have been trapped into a dilemma and don’t know how to do! (Perhaps as Lai said: God wants me to think and get involve!) Hence I asked him again seriously. His answer a few days ago given me is: “He wants me to know Him” Then he was continually leading me to think: Which part I really love to know Him? Through which way I love to? No need to think, I can tell, is through the reading of Bible, and I like to transmit his love by his words to the others, and my heart is satisfied by knowing him from his words! And develop a intimate relationship when I wait upon Him!

Though now I still not certain I should quit the internship of the cell group or not, I plan to go back starting from this Friday and I am going to seek for His will again and get the opinion from my other spiritual mentors, and other brothers and sisters, but pretty sure, after finishing writing this blog, this is really a year of learning and knowing Him.

Tonight is such a blessing night Betsy and I could attend the conference led by Cindy Jacobs and PastorJaeson Ma “The Days of Noah,” the conference topic has spoken for itself (though I had no idea before!), God asked Noah building a ark in order to save his family and all the animals from the world when His judgment had come with flooding released from Heaven. Now his salvation and, judgment also is coming in the place I live.

Now in Hong Kong, Cindy speaks in prophetic words from God that before she comes to HK, she saw in a vision a big word “HK” was always in her mind, then she asked God what does it means? And God replied her that HK means “His Kingdom”, this is his place and his throne is built up!!!!! However, when He comes, he is the God and he will also bring judgment at the same time, but thanks him before it he always opens the door of salvation and grace first. What he will do in HK would be the same as the days of Noah.

During the meeting, we mainly confessed for the sin of abortion, we were so surprise and shock to know that HK is the place has no. one high proportion rate amongst the advanced countries in abortion!!!30% of baby was killed in the womb of their moms!!!! The bible states clearly that abortion is a murdering sin. The high proportion also implies many pre-martial sexes and adulteries were happened across this land, we prayed together and cried out to the Lord and asked for his forgiveness and mercy, we were so touch when a girl who aborted before came out and asking for the forgiveness from the aborted baby, and Jaeson represented the “nearly aborted baby” come and accepted the forgiveness. During the meeting, personally I found God is reminding me again that I am his chosen people and BE HOLY, as HE IS HOLY. If I want to walk with him, I should follow and be holy.

Betsy she is so encouraging me has decided to fast in the following 21 days for the Holiness of our place, and we all want to see the glory of our Lord in HK, and no abortion in this land again, we pray until a law forbidding this sin will be established and no more abortion in HK!!!!

My prayer: God, please shows your love, mercy and grace and bring us under your salvation before your judgement, we all know we can't stand in front of you when you judge us, I want to see many of your people come to pray and be watchmen of our city, and see many lost people can escape from bondage of sexual sin, we like you to clean our city with your holy fire, build our city again in your name.

Website of the Days of Noah:www.itn-global or www.feb17ark.com

Today in Multi-Function Hall A, a memorial ceremony was presented in the memory of the lost of one of our exchange student, Vincent, from France in Hall 1, the accident was happened last week the day he first came to HK, his parents arrived and will take their son back home.

When the accident happened, I was in the hall taking rest after a long day of LASSI data collection, I heard the loud sound and the screaming but didn’t notice it was a tragedy, after 20 minutes Ivan called me telling what had happened and in a second we all went out and first taking care of the students belonged to our floors, some of them were so afraid and wanted to know what was going on. Thank God, you always had prepared and arranged Iris in our hall, we prayed together and asked God granting us peace in all our halls and students.

Even I prayed I couldn’t sleep well after two days, I still couldn’t believe that it was true and often asking God: “Why you allow such thing happened? He was so young….How is his parents…. I know God control everything but still couldn’t figure out the reason.

Such a sorrowful moment tonight when we saw the parents walking into the hall; they were just sitting down in our front of Theresa and me. When I was sitting and praying, God’s peace and love was being filled in the whole room and I felt it so strongly, I asked God a question, is the student now is with you? And you gave me two words: “Be peace.” Then I knew the answer right away and my heart is relieved. Oh Lord, there is nothing better than to confirm with you that our life is in your hand and you are taking care of everything, this family will be gathered one day and all their tears and sorrow will be wiped off, that is your promise in us. When I heard the father telling us the plan and dream of this young and energetic boy in Asia, we all felt very sad as it would haven’t been completed on earth, but I can see he starts his other valuable plan in your kingdom with you now….he is holding your hand and working on his eternally plan…..Such a great hope in you Lord! I could see their parents also have great faith in you seeing from their selected verses from the bible about HOPE!

My Prayer: Lord, you say you always stand by the people who are in sorrow, may your comfort and love and understanding come to the hearts of the parents, you love them so much and please embance them in your loving arms, touching their hearts with your compassionate love. And grant us all who know this accident to have peace in mind, may we have the same view as you when looking into this event. You treasure life more than anything.

Jesus said: "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

耶穌對他說、復活在我、生命也在我,信我的人、雖然死了、也必復活,凡活著信我的人、必永遠不死。

Hey, my Lord, I never, never expect you answered me in such a “surprise” and quick way! You know, you know, you always ask me to learn a lesson on “waiting”… “Consider it pure, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete (James 1:2-4).” I always know I am not mature and complete enough so I wait before you, both willingly and unwillingly. However, I really don’t know how to express my feeling when you give me this result!! Thank you for your listening, yes, hehe... Lord, the result is what a surprise but the important thing to me is, you are always listening^^.

Last night, I had a great chatting with Noriko, she reminded me many “happy days” when we studied, don’t know why, but she made me missing all my Japanese friends and Japan very very much….Lord, should I come back?!…. But before all I start moving, I always want to ask for your will first.

Oh...God, you mean a lot to me and thank you for your listening.

Everyday is a new day, the first thing I do I wake up is, say "Good morning! My Holy Spirit!"

My Lord, I will go to Korea tonight, Korea is the place you love so much, please go with all of us, grant us peace and joy for the whole trip^^

「我很想你知道，不是我為你做了些什麼，而認識我是哪一位…我有多麼的愛你…多麼想在生活的每一個層面照顧你…」摘自Gateway(耶穌的口訊)

12週年堂慶那天，收到我們教會第二本新鮮出爐的見證集《我們也當這樣跑》，看到俊俊這一段由Gateway Camp的節錄，很是感動。

這是我的回答：「神呀！我喜歡你，喜歡你的同在，愛和你一齊生活，愛你不是因為你為了我做了的那麼多，而是…單單只為你…」

Website of Gateway Camp: www.gatewaycamp.hk/

These few weeks I totally not myself and couldn’t sit down and took a break and wrote something, there are many brilliant things happened in Hong Kong, more than 34,000 people have entered into your kingdom during the Graham Festival, it was such a heart-touching night on 1^st Dec (Sat) when I was in the praying room seeing thousands of people coming down from their seats and decided to follow Jesus Christ, we cried…we cried… I know you have used your love attracting them coming back to you, I have seen HOPE in Hong Kong, I have seen TRANSFORMATION in their life, I saw YOUR GREAT HEALING HANDS and LOVE and MIGHTY POWER covering the whole HK stadium, and I also know you are in our hearts encouraging all your intercessors relying on you and pray!

My dear Lord, thank you for recruiting me to pray for 4 sessions in this festival, I love praying as you have assigned this responsibility to me, frankly, from my heart, I also love praying because I am talking and asking you, you know, talking with you is the most wonderful things! And you always listen…

Chatting with someone you love the most is such a great enjoyment!!

And thank you for letting me to know Peggy, I couldn’t believe that when we worked for you and you have already prepared all I needs in my life and in the future. All these just showing how much you CAEE about us!

The other things is, Tim, our colleague has decided to follow you and give his life to you in the last festival, I am expecting to see his amazing testimonies, it was a great encouragement to us as well, on that day when I saw the horse racing place became a gospel preaching place, how wonderful!! How amazing!!  And thank for listening to our prayers, and thank you for giving us a prayer group in our office, all is arranged by you with your blessings!

Though it is not easy to be occupied with many events without a good rest, it makes me remember how you preached when you were on the earth, for me, it is not about work, it is not about success, it is all about loving you and the people you love, I do it only for you...

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and, Love your neighbor as yourself. 你要盡心、盡性、盡力、盡意愛主你的神，又要愛鄰舍如同自己(Luke 10：27)

'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty (Zechariah 4:6).萬軍之耶和華說，不是倚靠勢力，不是倚靠才能，乃是倚靠我的靈方能成事(亞4:6)

不要愛世界、和世界上的事。人若愛世界、愛父的心就不在他裡面了。因為凡世界上的事、就像肉體的情慾、眼目的情慾、並今生的驕傲、都不是從父來的、乃是從世界來的。這世界、和其上的情慾、都要過去．惟獨遵行神旨意的、是永遠常存 (約一2:15-17)。

PS. 阿Joe是一個傻傻可愛的helper!

 你所愛的孩子上